We are all afraid to give in to our feelings - to allow them to develop fully and freely. We have fears that our feelings can threaten our stability and security. It is often difficult to know how to handle the rage, panic and despair that can lie below the surface. As a result, it can be a scary proposition to give in to our body and allow its natural rhythms and spontaneous movements to take over. We feel we must be in control at all times. We are, therefore in a constant struggle, whether we are aware of it or not; one we cannot win since victory amounts to denial and rejection of our true being.

Originally, it was the child's struggle for acceptance, love, security and freedom. Often this is a losing battle to the authoritarian forces in society (school, church and sometimes family) that restrict our freedom of expression. With this external pressure, the child must give up some of its ground, its true personality. It develops defenses to protect and secure the little ground it has left to stand on. These defenses become structured into it's way of being and turn into patterns of relating to ourselves and others. As adults, the struggle is over and what we failed to get as children cannot be obtained; however, the patterns are often internalized and the loss cannot be accepted. This leads to the continuation of the child's struggle, which saps our energies and undermines our effectiveness.

To surrender is to give up this struggle and to accept one's losses and go on with living. If surrender can be viewed as a giving in to the body and to its life instead of an admission of defeat, we will have more energy left to feel our bodies and our emotions on a self-preserving level. This entails the acknowledgment of loss and grieving that loss in order to make space for more joy in our lives.

Try This At Home

Basically, you are going to stand on one leg at a time. First, you stand with the right leg bent as much as possible with the foot flat on the floor. The left leg is extended backward off the ground. You are to hold this position as long as possible and ultimately surrender by allowing the leg to collapse. Six inches before the right foot is a folded blanket to break the impact of the fall when the right knee hits the ground. The left arm is extended with that hand lightly touching the blanket for balance. The right hand rests lightly upon a chair or other support which is alongside of you. All the weight of the body rests upon the right leg, the hands should only be used to maintain one's balance, not for support. It is important to breathe easily and deeply and to stay in the position as long as you can. When you can no longer maintain the position, let yourself fall.

Food For Thought

"Bioenergetically, the fear of surrender is related to the fear of falling. So the fear of falling in love is the fear of surrender to another person, the inability to fall asleep is the fear of surrender to the unconscious, and the fear of falling is the fear of surrender to the gravity pull of the earth and by extension to the mother."

Alexander Lowen, the Founder of Bioenergetics